What happens when you die?
I don’t know, I guess it kind of requires you to answer the question of, who exactly is it that really dies?
Well, it’s me of course!, I will die.
Ok , well who are you?
Who am I?
Ok well my name is mark, and and I am an audio engineer, and a grower of many edible things, and I am from Minnesota, and I lived in Nashville for 20 years and I….
No, no those are just features of your existence.
Details of a story about the roles you played.
What if you never moved to Nashville, what if you never put a seed in the ground?
Would you still be you?
Well I guess, but that sure seems like me.
Yes it does seem that way,
but clearly if you didn’t do and have those things you will still be you wouldn’t you?
Well yes i guess so.
So who are you?
Well, I have this body, I’m 5’10” and have a beard, I have long brown hair, and blue eyes and…..
So what if your cut your hair, or lost your foot, or your colon or your hearing in your left ear?
Would you stop being you?
Well my body would be different.
Yes that is true,
but really, would ~you~ not be you?
No I guess not.
But I have this mind.
I think therefore I am right?,
so clearly I must be my mind.
can you pay attention to your thoughts?
Can you observe yourself thinking?
I don’t know, I’ve never thought about that before.
Take a deep breath…
No, a really deep breath.
Think about the tip of your nose
And notice the cool rush of air entering your body.
Now let that breath out.
Relax your body
Ask your self,
What’s my next thought going to be?
Isn’t that a strange experience?
You can observe yourself waiting for your next thought.
Yes that is a little odd
It kind of creates a little space within myself.
So I guess I”m not my mind either.
I am more of, an observer of my mind.
Well that changes my experience of life just a bit doesn’t’ it?
Indeed it does.
So if i am not my body and I am not my mind?
Than who I am I?
Ahhh, well here we are again,
back at the beginning.
Asking the same question.
Perhaps more contemplation might help.
Or maybe just sitting in in stillness,
and observing the thoughts as they go by,
like clouds in the sky
Focusing on the breath in…
And focusing on the breath out…
Maybe that will help me understand better who I am.
I can feel who I am,
I definitely can feel myself,
I know I exist, I am aware of that,
but I can’t seem to really know myself while thinking about it
Yes, it does seem that your awareness of your existence is pretty key to your direct experience of life.
The ego is attached to the places and things we identify with.
Those things that make us feel like we are the character we are playing,
yet as we’ve explored, if any of those things hadn’t occurred, we would still exist.
As it’s been said, the key to life and to waking up is learning to die before you die.
The fact that you feel like life is happening for you,
Like it is happening from your point of view,
It gives you that feeling of “I”.
A feeling of centrality.
the world is happening for you,
from your point of view
Only You can experience the world from your awareness.
You are “i”
and I am “i”
I guess in a way we’re all “i”
So, is there any real separation between “i” and “i”?
Am I just awareness?
Am I just…
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